Learning to Dance with Uncertainty and Confusion
Allow messiness and life’s unraveling
What if you allowed yourself to not have all the answers?
Let it be easy. Let i be messy.
So much of life’s wisdom and ease comes from being able to hold the paradoxes of living. We cannot feel joy without sorrow, love without experiencing loss, and in our wider world, there’s always chaos before order. And if you’re feeling confused and lost, know that it’s a necessary part of growth.
To know, we have to not know. This is the part that nobody wants to hear or acknowledge. But as soon as you lean into this, and allow yourself to not have all the answers right now, you create spaciousness. Let it be easy. Let it be messy. Sink into the present moment and allow it all to happen. Just like the kid jumping into the pool of rainwater in the picture, yes — it’s messy, it’s muddy, but hey, it’s a lot of fun!
There’s nothing wrong with following your curiosities and having fun along the way. In fact, it’s the only way through life! Recently I’ve shared about how being joyful is a strategy and the importance of giving ourselves permission to just be. And to take it a step further, our capacity to allow joy depends on how safe we feel it is in our bodies.
There’s only so much we can access or shift when we access change through our minds. We try to force thoughts like ‘I should be better than this, I should be grateful for what I have, I should feel happy!’ We spiral into deeper layers of judgement and self-criticism only to end up in more misery while trying to be joyful.
In my journey, I’ve found profound wisdom through mindfulness and adopting a body-based approach. To build capacity, we cultivate compassion and self-love through a felt sense, rather than forcing ourselves to be more. It starts with seeing ourselves through kinder eyes and allowing awareness to seep through our gradual unravelling from this moment.
“Life is an unfoldment, and the further we travel the more truth we can comprehend. To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for understanding those that lie beyond.” — Hypathia
Instead of asking ‘What’s missing? What will happen?’ It’s a journey of uncovering what’s there already, and getting more curious as you anchor in with presence, going deeper and deeper, allowing more and more for what’s here to arise. ‘What if I looked at myself with a more loving gaze? What if I allow myself to be messy? What if I allow myself to not have all the answers?’
This is how you can feel at ease, dance with uncertainty, and flow with the continuous cycles of questioning and receiving answers through life. In moments of confusion and uncertainty, find ways to be present and listen deeply. Write yourself a big permission slip to let it be messy, and make mistakes along the way as they will one day become your greatest lessons and stories to tell.
