Goal-setting with Soul
How to set authentic goals aligned with your heart‘s desires
Ever had that feeling where you finally reached your big goal, yet something feels missing inside?
‘I thought this would make me happy. I thought this was what I wanted!’
And then, you begin to doubt yourself. Is there something wrong with me? Why am I not happy? I should be! These are all illusions of what success means to us. Unconsciously, many of us set goals based on what would make us ‘look good’ on the outside, forgetting what actually makes us FEEL good inside.
In my teachings, I’ve often shared my journey to redefining success, and setting goals from a place of emotion rather than rationale. I further refined this process when I came across the idea of core desire mapping.
To break down the concept of desire mapping, here are the 3 steps: (which you can save as a journaling and writing prompt for later)
Freely write about your core desired feelings (e.g. inspired, connected) in each of these 3 categories — lifestyle, livelihood and relationships.
Look at all the key words of desired feelings and choose 3 that stand out to you.
Using those chosen core desired feelings as an anchor, look at the actions you need to take for these feelings to thrive in various parts of your life.
It’s important to understand the principles behind this seemingly simple yet profound process. It’s much more than setting a to-do list, or driving ourselves to achieve a goal — it’s about reconnecting with the truest part of ourselves that is longing to be set free, to feel and to be!
It’s about creating a system and practice that allows you to make more empowered choices, and in turn, make the most out of your one and precious life.
“Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity that you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerfully creative thing you can do with your life. “— Danielle LaPorte
So much of our society’s messaging has encouraged us to approach achievement through an external experience — to get a new phone, to get married, to get that well-paying job etc. None of these is wrong, but the problem is the misalignment it often brings, and inch by inch, it eats away our soul and builds resistance and unhappiness in our life.
All of our goals are actually a desire to experience a certain feeling or emotion. So when we get to the core of what it is that we want to feel within ourselves, and from this point, plant seeds of action, it leads us to a place of alignment and fulfillment. It’s the path of aligning the outer with the inner, rather than achieving externally to close the gaps internally.
“You must first be who you really are, then do what you really need to do, in order to have what you want.” — Margaret Young
The journey to achieving from this grounded place of authenticity also requires an honest look at our self-worth and core beliefs. If you’re constantly doing things to seek for approval or people-please, it is very difficult to have clear goals that are truly based on who you are and what you want to feel.
It doesn’t mean that thoughts like ‘What would others think? What if I’m not enough?’ would not show up. But when we have our core desires mapped out, it becomes easier to return to a place of honoring ourselves and using it as a guide for making better decisions.
You may find it hard and even daunting to map out the core desired feelings of your life. I encourage you to start by reflecting on the week you had and the key moments you enjoyed or would like more of. Each daily moment is an opportunity to build a lifetime practice of creating the desired feelings and life we want.
It starts with knowing how you want to feel when you look at your calendar. Knowing how you want to feel when you wake up, go to bed, when you arrive at work, when you spend your free time, all the way to the bigger picture elements of how you want to feel in your career, relationships and life.
For me, I’ve reconnected to my core desires of feeling inspired, connected and empowered. And I wish to bring in more of these through creating, through writing, through teaching, through work that I do and how I live each moment.
What about you? What would your goals look like if you liberate yourself and connected with your core desired feelings?
